I'm F**king terrified!

I want... I don't know what I want! I turn 30 in 4 weeks, and my life hasn't gone the way I thought it would of gone when I was a child... no marriage, no children, not much travel. I spent an awful amount of time feeling sorry for myself (I still do). I'm socially awkward (even thinking about going out and meeting people makes me feel anxious), and I would just rather stay at home where I feel SAFE! "Safe", is not always a good thing. How do you discover things about yourself, others, and the world if you stay in your safe cocoon? How do you truly make friends, create relationships, have fun, in a cocoon! Maybe I'm a type of caterpillar that takes years to turn into a butterfly!

Over the last couple of years a lot of things have happened that have had positive effects on my life, including extreme weight loss, finding a job (and career) I can see myself doing for the rest of my life, and starting to accept the body and life that the universe has bestow on me. I was able to cross some things of my bucket list (bungy jumping anyone?!) and make some friends, but none of those friendships ever moved any further than the occasional comment on Facebook, and that generic birthday message when Facebook tells you. I want more friends, people to go out with, people to act silly with, people to make mistakes with... but then again my anxious brain say "no you don't, it's too hard, what about your cocoon!? you'll have to actually talk to people, they may judge you... blah blah blah!" --- 

my 30th birthday is coming up, and my sisters are planning me a party. They asked about a guest list... 75% of the list is family, then work colleagues who don't really know "the real me", and then some old school friends I am attempting to connect with again! I'm F**king terrified! Terrified about being the centre of attention, terrified that everyone will show up, terrified that nobody will show up!! And if my work colleagues show up, will they judge the way I am with my family? Will I put on my "public mask" and not have as much fun as I usually do!?

I'm sorry about this ramble, there wasn't really a goal to this post. I think what I'm going through is very common with people my age. It's so easy to meet and make friends with wonderful people on the internet, but it's a lot harder for people to make friends IRL. I know in my heart that it will get better, but I also know it's not going to happen overnight, or if I just sit at home and twiddle my thumbs. It's about accepting yourself, you flaws, your quirks, your uniqueness, and getting out of your comfort zone!

If you have any tips and tricks let me know, but this really is something that has to be done by me, and probably like a band-aid... just jump in, and try not to drown!

Molly xoxo

February Recap

Happy March everyone!

Did you survive Valentines Day?

I bought myself a $200 gift :)

Time for the February Recap!

BLOGGING

Had backpack envy... that turned into backpack ownership!

(review post soon)

Decided it was time to cut my hair and

decided on a pixie cut!

Bought CROCS!

(ewww gross.... not)

Spent my hard earned money on ASOS dresses

ONLY 5 posts in February.

Running a little slow thanks to work stress.

*****

LIFE

Survived another month at work :)

Watched 2 new movies!

Didn't READ at all!!! :(

Played Banished for hours

BETA Access to Elder Scrolls ONLINE

(which is awesome!)

Received LOTS of mail (and parcels!)

*****

MARCH PLANS

Finish

Inferno by Dan Brown

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

Watch more movies!

Only 2 in Feb... What's going on!?!

REINVENT MYSELF during my week off work!

Starting with a haircut

New makeup

Eating healthy

Exercising and;

BLOGGING MORE!

Possibly go to Perth Comic-Con

But it's still up in the air!

*****

How was your February?

Let me know in the comments!

 

<3 Molly

Cards Against Humanity

*

so, you can't buy Cards Against Humanity outside of USA.

but you can download them for free

and then print them out yourself!

I would love to have the actual packs.

Maybe I can email them and ask nicely.

update: [nice emails work :D just ordered a set]

I want them all!

*

I also want We Didn't Playtest This... card games.

Alex played a couple of rounds while in line at PAX.

I didn't know what it was called.

But I found it!

*

check out my bestest friend, Emmys' new blog

Marvellous Disillusion

It's going to be awesome!

She needs all the love!

LOTS OF LOVE!

*

50 Followers!

I have my 50th blog follower!

I'm so excited.

Hi!

Welcome.

I followed you back.

I even stole your 10 Day Challenge!

Click HERE to go to the first prompt TEN SECRETS

Presents!!!!!!

I got mail today!

From Emma aka Cupquake Stormageddon (my dad was very confused)

There was 2 Parcels!

One of them my dad had opened because it was wet :0

But he managed to save the contents... more later!

BIRTHDAY PRESENT!!

Even if my birthday was in November... last year :P

I'm excited about eating the Pop-tarts. I've never had them before!

First the card....

Best. Card. Ever!

But I need to return it, because none of the buttons work.

Now the best bit.

The present!

Super glittery Typo Journal

to fill with awesome things that make me happy.

AWESOME POST ITS! :O

and an organic Lollipop!

The other parcel, that my dad saved had the awesomest present ever!

Severus Snape print by Stewart McKenny

personally signed!!!!!

THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH EMMA!!!

I LOVE IT ALL!!!

Benny Salsa Merchandising

My iMac is at the computer hospital :( Apple recalled certain iMac hard drives, but at least I get a replacement for free. I've been having trouble with my hard drive for ages so YAY for new Hard Drive! Hopefully Benny will be back soon!! Look at the sad empty space where Benny once sat! :(

I tried my hand... or hips.... at Salsa on Wednesday night with my new awesome friend Katherine, and I failed so much! OH SO MUCH FAIL! I can't "wiggle my hips" and I'm so unco, that I ended up with MOTION SICKNESS! Motion Sickness from Dancing... and even thinking about it now makes me feel sick! I feel so bad, because Katherine really wants me to keep going, but it's really not my thing :D

In other news, I got another job. Just a casual flexible job doing some Merchandising :D I had my first "Journey" today and it went really well and I'm very please with the results :D

Anyway, just a little update post. I know I've been pretty slack with updates recently. Sorry :D

My auntie has a blog

My auntie has a blog. She's very excited about it, so I told her I would let everyone know about it.

www.decoratingmumma.com

It's a decorating blog. She loves country styles and shabby chic. It doesn't have very many posts at the moment, but it will get there. She may be a better blogger than me :P (but I think everyone is better than me :D)

I've been trying to clean my room for DAYS! The bookshelves above my desk are almost empty, as I move the books across to my other bookshelf. But I don't know what I will put on the shelves. I might just end up putting the books back.

I'm trying to organise my DVD collection, which at the moment is stored in my wardrobe/in containers under my bed/on a shelf in my room that blocks the door to the aforementioned wardrobe! I have put 2 100 DVD storage boxes on hold at work, I'm going to put all the older, rarely watched DVDs in them. But unfortunately for me I own WAY more than 200 DVDs.

My tax has been lodged, so now I wait... impatiently for my bank account to magically have $3000 in it! As soon as that happens I'm onto the Apple Store to order my MacBook Air. (Who is yet unnamed!!! HE NEEDS A NAME!) And the rest will be put on my credit card... and then the credit card will be given to my mother (so I can't use it)!!

NEW BILLY TALENT SINGLE IS OUT AND IT'S AMAZING!!! The video is on their website, so check it out HERE, if you're interested! I wish Billy Talent was coming to Perth during their "Australian" tour... but of course they aren't :(

Billy Talent... and creepy doll person thing!

I really want to do a post about my bedroom, but it's such a mess!!! When I finally stop procrastinating and tidy it... I will do a post :)

I'm going to spend the rest of the day, cleaning and listening to Billy Talent :)

Let me know some awesome name ideas from my new MacBook Air :)

Life Update...

It's time for another "life update"...

Christmas - was spent at my aunt and uncles place with pretty much my whole family (minus a few we don't speak of) I got to spend the whole day playing with my cousin Logan and cuddling my new baby cousin (and godson) Seth. I received a Blu-Ray player, a cassette iPhone cover, and vouchers to Things Living, Dymocks and Coles Myer. It was fun, but a little bit sad, because a couple days before we received news that a family friend had died :(

New Years Eve - was spend at work, until 5pm and then to my friends 26th Birthday/Tim Burton NYE party. Everyone dressed up (including me... I went as Voodoo Girl) and had an awesome time. I don't drink, so it was pretty funny watching my friends get drunk :) We left the party at about 11pm and then went to mums' to watch the midnight fireworks.

1st January 2012 - If you follow me on Twitter you would of seen that January 1st was this blogs 4th Birthday, but when I came home from work (yes! I had to work New Years Day) I had the worst headache so I went to bed. 4 years is a really long time to have a blog :O It has gone by many names over the years, but has never really changed much. You should take a look at the archive and read some old posts!

My 2012 Bucket List is here... I've already watched 2 new movies this year (The Adventures Of Tintin and War Horse) and I'm planning the first blog competition, but other than that it's pretty much been minecraft and procrastination...

Reading... Geek Girls Unite

CRUSHING ON... Adrien Brody (again)

wasting my iPhones' battery with... 

Pocket Academy

Now that my work shifts are back to normal, I can plan more posts. I have a couple to do, but my Procrastination Fairy likes to send a lot of time hanging around.

Awesomest. Day. EVER!

Today is the awesomest day ever!
First off I got a new job... well I'm still at my current workplace, but now I get to work in the Soundbar with the DVDs/CDs/Games/Tech. It's the prefect and most logical place for me to be :)

Secondly, the awesomest thing I've ever ordered arrived in the mail. I had to set up a US address to get it, and I was worried that it would just disappear into oblivion and I'd never see it... but it arrive. An Official Severus Snape wand. It came in a collectors Olivander wand box, and it weighy and doesn't feel like a cheap knock off.

Thirdly (and this is the most awesome thing that has happened this year, by far) I have a new cousin :) Yep, my aunt had her baby. We knew that it was going to be a boy, so the surprise was going to be the babies name... and I'm so excited. I now have a SETH in my family. How awesome is that!?

So new job, new wand and a new family member. Awesomest. Day. Ever.

Happy Birthday EMMA!

Head over to Cupcake With New Sprinkles. It's her BIRTHDAY!

You should all comment and tell her to start blogging again or I'll get very cross :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMMA! 

I hope boy made you yummy cake!

Epic Post Of Epicness

I haven't post in awhile. I've started a few posts, but never clicked the "Publish Post" button, it's actually become quite a scary little button. I have been thinking a lot harder about the things I post. I don't know who reads my blog. I don't know if anyone out there is collecting information about me off my blog. Yes, it seems I've become quite paranoid... I blame my counsellor. But long and sad/depressing story short... I was in the process of backing up my blog... and deleting it. I know, scary. But then... on the actual night I planned on going home after work and actually completing my dastardly plans... I had someone come up to me... a customer, and asked me if I wrote "The Princess & The Geek" OMFG! How awesome is that? (*waves* Hi! by the way). I thought the whole idea of someone from MY TOWN actually reading my blog, the worst thing ever... I know for a fact that I have 2 local readers (and one of them is my sister, and the other is a friend) so having a seemingly random person (I mean that in a nice way!) is reading my blog.... is freaking awesome... so awesome, it needs to be added to the next volume of "The Book Of Awesome" by Neil Pasricha (see fig. below)

So... I decided not to delete my blog. All 3 and a half years of it. All 1101 posts. When the lovely customer left (who actually works with my aforementioned friend) left, my supervisor came over (who had heard the whole, rather awkward conversion) and asked "What's a blog?" I told her, she wanted to read mine.... I changed the subject :)

The past couple of weeks have been pretty crazy. I got sick, just the flu, but had to fly to Perth... on my own, for work training. There I finally met with my internet/SMS friend Josh, but due to my illness, I was probably the biggest bitch in the whole world, so Josh if you're reading this, I'm sorry for being a vague, untalkative bitch, who spent an hour with you, and then left you to find your own way back to the train station. :(

In Perth, even though I was sick, I did what I do best... Spend MONEY!

Nintendo DS & iPod in top corner are MINE... well everything is mine, but I owned them before the spending spree. I'm actually glad I was sick, because if I was well, I would of actually been bothered to shop and would of spent a lot more money.

I also got "re-obsessed" with Criminal Minds. It was on TV while I was in Perth, even if it was one of the last episodes of series 6, and I haven't finished season 4 yet... who needs "storyline" and "plot" when you've got Dr Spencer Reid aka Matthew Gray Gubler??

I have more... I know you want more :)

with the photographer of the previous photos Terry Richardson

*swoon* I got back from Perth and went straight into Target and purchased Criminal Minds Season 5. I told myself I was going to wait, because $77.00 is too much to spend on a tv series... but, NO, I couldn't do it. WOO! 5% Staff Discount.

In Entertainment news.

This man! Benedict Cumberbatch... The best ever Sherlock Holmes ever (even better than Robert Downey Jr) has finally been confirmed as cast in The Hobbit. He will be doing the voice and motion capture of Smaug the Dragon in part 2, as well as doing the voice of Necromancer in part one... Necromancer for all you non-LOTR fanboys & girls... if Sauron :) EXCITED!

Okay, so this post is pretty epic. I'm going to leave it there. Hopefully it's enough to cure certain peoples withdrawals :P

xox

I DID IT!

I resigned from Blockbuster. I'm not on the roster anymore. I actually did it.
I went in this morning, before the store had opened and spoke to the Boss, I asked him if he needed a letter, and he said yes. He didn't seem that surprised. I had a little cry in the car afterward, but I would rather not be working there than working there. When I dropped my letter off after work at Target, Boss had already done the roster and I wasn't on it. It was kinda sad, because when I talked to him in the morning, I said I was available to work the next fortnight.
I feel sad, but also relieved to be out of there. I'm going to miss working with everyone, and I'm going to miss working there... sometimes. Last night was my last shift, and it was pretty much one of the worst shifts I'd ever done. Every customer complained. Every customer asked me stupid questions... customers are stupid. But when I had finished counting out the money and turned off the lights, I stood in the dark store for a minute and said goodbye (for good this time) I had every intention of resigning today, and instead of it just being talk... I actually did it. I'm actually proud of myself for doing it. And it's not like I'll never see any of them again, it's still my video store. But I did have to pay full price for my DVDs :( and I don't get previews anymore... and I won't be able to steal a Tron:Legacy poster... I'll have to ask Nigel nicely.

We start moving tomorrow. House settlement is set for 11am. Then the house is ours, so stay tuned for photos of empty house. Like I've said many times before, it's very scary and exciting. It's a big change, but this change is good. I realised last night as I was lying wide awake in bed that it's been about 5 months since Mum moved out. 5 months, it's gone so quickly I hadn't really noticed, is that bad? I really miss having her around. I miss the times I get upset at night and get my sister Alex to go get her for me. I miss that, I don't miss the midnight panic attacks, just the comfort, I miss knowing that she's right upstairs when I need her.

Anyway, that's my emotional mini rant/ramble for tonight. Tomorrow is the start of a new era for me. SCARY!

False King by Two Steps From Hell

My weekend was relatively internet free, except for a few Tumblr reblogs, and checking what time the movies were on at the cinema. I managed to organise my stationery, pack some more boxes and get some serious fan-fiction writing done. I ALSO FOUND MY UNI INFO BOOKS, so I don't have to use my iPad to read them (it was starting to hurt my eyes)

Check out my awesome organisation skills. I'm going to change it a little, because I found more plastic tumblers at work, so I'm going to sort the pencils into "normal" and "watercolour" and "lead" I have so much stationery I should open my own stationery store... speaking of stationery stores... OFFICEWORKS opens in 2 weeks time :) I'm so freaking excited.

Final inspection of our new house is on Friday. I'm excited. And then next Tuesday we start to move in. I'm not sure how I'm feeling about the move. I haven't had any emotional breakdowns over it, but I do find myself feeling a bit sad sometimes... at really stupid times, like when I'm lying in bed looking at the ceiling and realising I won't get to see the ceiling everyday... weird things like that. I am really looking forward to moving, but not leaving. All the memories. I've been taking some really weird photos of the house, like little things, like the ceiling in the lounge room, the picture rail in my room, the bathroom doors... really weird right? But that will be the stuff I'll miss the most.

I've watched 9 NEW movies in the last week. I've written them in my list, but haven't written reviews for them yet. I'm trying only to watch movies I haven't seen. I'm 28% done with my 100 new movies list. CHECK IT OUT... and recommend me some movies that I haven't seen yet :)

About life, packing, tweens, going to the movies and internet free weekend.

So completely over my emo state I had earlier this week. Sorry about that, I actually lost a follower :(

Starting to get back into it. Life is starting to sort itself out. Still have no idea when we're moving house, I have a rough idea, but if that rough idea is correct, it's in 2 weeks time, which is pretty scary. I've asked dad, but he doesn't know anything about it either.

My work situation is getting better. Hopefully soon I'll be getting 25.5 hours a week, working 2 jobs. But I'm really unsure if I actually want to leave Blockbuster, but I really don't want to work nights or weekends anymore (and they're the only times I'll be available) I don't want to have to pay to rent movies :)

I started writing lists of things to do and organise. Like change of address! What a bitch that is going to be. And the packing is still pretty much none existent! But most of the stuff that still needs to be sorted are things I use day to day, and things that will probably get thrown out.

Just watched the music video for Friday by Rebecca Black. seriously, apparently she's the next "Justin Bieber" all I can say is. SERIOUSLY CHILDREN! DON'T YOU HAVE ANY REAL MUSIC TASTE? ARE YOU TONE DEATH? Wow... Just wow. My opinion, don't waste 3 minutes and 48 seconds of your life, just don't watch it. You've probably heard it played a bazillion times on the radio by now anyway. This chick makes Justin Bieber seem not that bad (yep, that's my official statement... There is now someone worse than Justin Bieber)

PICSPAM TIME

I might go to the movies tonight. I really want to see Battle: Los Angeles. It looks pretty epic. I wish I had friends that were actually interested in Sci-Fi movies... plus would actually pay to go see a movie at the cinema. "It's so expensive... blah blah blah... bitch bitch bitch" seriously $15? You don't HAVE to buy anything from the snackbar. You pay your $15 and go and sit down... that's it. You get to see a movie in the best quality, the only way you'll ever get to see a movie in that quality again is to pay 10s of thousands of dollars to buy your own cinema setup. SERIOUSLY... $15! It's going to cost you more than that when you go to the pub instead and get so drunk you don't remember what you did. Seriously... and I'm the weird one because I want to spend "heaps" of money going to the cinema. Hmmmmmm! What ever!

Anyway. I'm going to try and have an internet free weekend. The plan is tonight fill my ipod with music and actually TURN MY COMPUTER OFF, instead of just putting it to sleep. And see how long I can last without my computer/internet. See you on Monday... or sooner, depending on how much fail I have :)

Alex is back

My sister just got back from Perth, she went to Soundwave, she got dragged from the mosh pit at 30 Seconds To Mars and got a guitar pick from There For Tomorrow. She does concerts far better than me. But the best thing... she bought me an awesome present...

... A MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER DALEK! It's bubble bath, it's AWESOME! I also got a Soundwave tee, and some "Tubberware" from IKEA (it's not real Tubberware, but it's awesome and green)

In other news, seriously considering dying my hair this colour...

... it's a sort of red, but with slight purple tinge, but I need some advise. First off, does anyone know what this colour is actually called, and two, I will probably need to bleach my hair first, so the colour looks extra nice, can you suggest any products that will stop my hair from becoming wiry and strawy? I'm seriously considering getting it done professionally, but I'm not sure. I kinda wish my hair was longer, because I think it would look better with longer hair.... but I hate having long hair :)

Dinner time.

2 New Followers!

2 New Followers! YAY! Hey guys, I tried to follow your blogs but there was no links on your profile :(
Also, the packing is still going (obviously). As of Friday the house now belongs to Mr & Mrs Gates (or from now on to be known as the "Gateses") They're from Perth (like I previously mentioned) and they have 3 kids under 15.... (I think) We are staying here until they move down (at the end of the school term) which is in April. Tomorrow, hopefully, dad will go into the bank and they'll lend us enough money to buy that house we have ours eyes on (which I just learnt might not get ADSL... which means I may have to go wireless... which means back to SLOW internet.... PLEASE MAKE IT BE NOT TRUE) anyway, hopefully dad will get the extra money without any hassle... this, the whole mortgage situation, is the bit that is causing me the most stress at the moment. I know how hard it is to get loans etc, I also know roughly how much money my father makes, and I'm afraid it just won't be enough.... FINGERS CROSSED (AGAIN)
In other news, today I took down my pin board, and poster around my computer. Now it's just a very large purple wall of nothingness... except a Australian Sky & Telescope magazine calendar. (it has pretty pictures in it... pictures like this...)

The plan was to do more packing, but I've got a problem... no more boxes! But I'm doing well... I haven't managed to throw anything out yet. I'm so tempted to just chuck out some boxes without looking in them, they're been under my bed (unopened) for ages... I can't remember when.... but my stupid paranoid self is like "what if, down the track you need something from the box?" BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S IN THE BOX! GAHHHHH!

Stupid box.

Who Are You?

I've stolen this idea from Briana at Rose Colored Glasses.... The Blogger Interview. By know you guys probably know heaps about me, but I don't know much about you so I've decided to hold a Blogger Interview to get to know you.

Here's what I think I'll need:

A current photograph of yourself.

Your blog, Etsy shop, or website info.

Answers to these questions:

What's your name? How old are you? (Only if you don't mind sharing.) Where do you live? Job, family life, living situation?

What inspires you? What are some of your favorite things?

What are your favorite hobbies?

How do you spend your days?

Why are you on Blogger? Do you have a blog, yourself?

What attracted you to MY blog? What do you like about it? How did you find me?

If you have an Etsy shop, or other online site, what do you hope to accomplish with it? What are your long-term goals, dreams, etc?

What are some of your favorite blogs, sites, etc. and why?

Anything fun you have to share about yourself??

If any of these questions seem to personal and you'd rather not answer feel free to pass on them. I won't mind. If you have something you want people to know that I haven't asked, again, feel free to add to this interview. I also appreciate any photographs you may want to add.

I think this could be really fun. To participate, just leave me an e-mail with your information at:

melissa.j.bunn (at) gmail (dot) com.

* It will be private. I will not pass any information on, this is just for my own eyes. I'm interested in what sort of people are reading my blog. If you don't want to email me, just leave a comment with your name, website (if you have one) and where you are in the world. That would be great.

:(

feeling a bit blah today.

the new owners are going to be here tomorrow.

i really should tidy a little.

but it depresses me.

my mother is here.

i still feel so awkward around her.

no one should feel like that around your own mother.

she's like a different person now.

it's not a bad thing. i'm glad that she's sorting her life out.

i just feel left behind.

lost.

empty.

things i don't like feeling.

i miss her.

i hate not knowing what sort of things i'll feel when i get up in the morning.

i could of seriously stayed in bed all day today.

but life has to move on.

i have to keep moving forward.

i'm making my life as busy as possible.

so i don't spend much time with my own thoughts.

if my brain is preoccupied with other things

i don't have time to feel sorry for myself.

 

Guess What I Did Today?

Today I (or I should say Shannon and I) submitted an application for a rental house, 100 metres from Target, 3 bedroom and pretty much perfect for everything we need. It's a very stressful experience, and scary, but exciting. So the next week is going to be long, waiting for the Yay or Nay reply from the Real Estate agent... everyone pray for a YAY! The real estate agent was quite optimistic about it, but in saying that you can never really tell with real estate agents. FINGERS CROSSED.

I know I'm ready to move out. The reason why I never did before is I'm a little bit of a mummys girl :) and I didn't think I could live without her, but she fixed that by moving out herself. It will be sad to be away from Alex and Kaitlin and Dad and the kitties, but one day down the track I can get my own kitty. Shannon wants a small dog, and I want a kitty, we'll have to get them at the same time so they can be peeps.

FINGERS CROSSED.

Emotional Rambles

Feeling sad and depressed today. My nose hurts because I got sunburnt, I miss having my mum at home and the prospects of moving out scares me. I think I want to move out, I think I'm ready, it's just scary, and it's not like I don't want to leave my home (well I do, but whether I move out on my own or not, we still have to move out anyone, because it's sold). The idea of someone living in the house I've lived in for 24 years is very sad, but I know I don't have a choice. The sheer enormity of the task of packing up my room is actually starting to give me nightmares. There are pros and cons of moving out with a friend.

PROS

• more room for all my shit.
• social factors (not sure if it's a pro or a con :D)
• Possibly of getting my own cat (roommate wants dog :D)
• Away from family.

CONS

• pay more rent (max $150 a week, as opposed to $100 a fortnight board)
• tiny room if I stay at home. won't be able to fit everything in my room now, into a tiny room.
• Can't paint/renovate rental.
• Away from family.
• Extra costs (for appliances, power, water, gas etc.)

I realise there are more CONS at the moment. Doesn't matter how many times I write this PRO/CON list, I can't afford to move out at the moment. I was going to go in and resign from Blockbuster this morning, but Boss is away, and I really need all the extra money I can make, so there really is no way I can resign until I have more shifts at Target, or another second job. Did I ever mention before, how much I HATE money?

And to add to all the other stress, I'm trying to decide if I should withdraw from my course. I haven't done any work on it yet, and with all this shit that's going on I'm not really in the right frame of mind to do it, but my problem is, I have until 27th January to withdraw and not have to pay anything, after that date I have to pay a certain percentage.... but if I withdraw before that date... what if I regret it later? I just had a look at the withdrawal policies and it looks harder to withdraw than it does to just finish the course. And knowing me, this is just a faze I'm going through because I'm feeling a little depressed. I think I need to get myself organised. I've started the new year a mess, literally, emotionally, physically and mentally, so I need to clean up. And that is where I'll leave you today. Back into real life mode tomorrow.