Gym Bunny

No Vlog today.

I'm not feeling very confident at the moment.

I can't, "just vlog" I need to prepare myself.

I did, however, do something quite scary.

I joined the gym.

*gasp*

I know, I know, it's just a gym.

My last gym experience was BAD with a capital BAD!

I went for a month, felt so uncomfortable so I stopped going.

But still continued to pay.

Then when the payment plan ended.

The gym rang me and asked me to renew.

I told them I hadn't been to the gym in 11 months.

They asked why, I said because they didn't care.

Anyway!

I joined a new gym. It opens on Friday.

It's a Snap Fitness gym and it's 24 hours.

So I'll be exercising at midnight probably.

Like right now! If it was open I would be going.

The owner dude person (I don't think he's the owner)

had been "bugging" me to join.

He's one of those gym types etc.

But was nice and honest.

I could sense that he's a genuine person.

So gym.

I really want an iPod nano.

Not that I need one because I have an iPhone.

But the battery is really bad.

At least with a Nano I don't need to worry about wasting my phone battery.

So I might make it a goal.

I have the money to buy one.

But instead, I'm going to make it a reward.

If I go to the gym for 10 hours I will buy myself an iPod Nano.

Anyway.

I don't really know what to do with myself.

I'm feeling a little less anxious than yesterday

but I'm still feeling a little "lost"

it's a weird feeling.

Love you lots.

xoxo

where the magic happens!

It's Tuesday.

The last day of my 3 day weekend.

What have I achieved?

Absolutely nothing.

Well I have managed to watch all of "Pillars of the Earth"

which was excellent.

and I have sort of tidied my room.

I did vlog again!

I weighed myself on camera.

I keep getting told that I'm brave.

I'm not brave.

It's a number... a number that can be changed.

It may involve a lot of hard work to change it.

But I will change it.

I've been playing video games.

Don't Strave.

The Cave.

Terraria.

Simcity.

Just general time wasting.

I haven't done any of the homework I was suppose to do.

Which sucks.

I procrastinate so fucking much.

Then I make up excuses for why I haven't done it.

Instead of just saying.

I was too lazy, or more to the point, "just not in the mood"

People say anti-depressants fuck with your motivation.

I'm not motivated when I'm not on anti-depressants.

imagine me if I was.

I would probably just crawl up into a ball and melt away.

My doctor keeps trying to get me to go on anti-depressants.

But I don't want to.

She knows that, and respects my decision, so we have been brainstorming ways to help

Like baking. Baking makes me happy. 

e problem is, now I find it hard to bake when there are people in the house.

I'm worried that they will judge me. (because SHE always does)

Plus when you're trying to lose weight and cut down on sugar

baking cupcakes is probably not a good idea.

I'm becoming anxious.

I've never felt anxious much before.

My depression was just being sad.

But now I seem to have developed anxiety.

I haven't told anyone yet.

It's the stupidest thing.

Being anxious about little things that mean nothing.

Like driving, being too scared to drive somewhere

because you're afraid you'll crash.

Or that people in your class will find out you're not as super confident

and talkative as you are in class.

And being alone forever, or even worse,

actually being in a relationship!

I think that's scarier to me now, than being alone.

Which is weird.

But I know I need to get out of my comfort zone.

 Do crazy things.

Like vlog in public.

be in public in general.

get a tattoo.

go out and meet wonderful people.

do my homework so I can get my certificate and get a job in Perth and move to where all the awesome people are.

stand up for myself.

not worry about what people think of me.

be confident even at 143kg.

Wow! I do ramble on...

instead of doing homework.

bye-ee :)

Vlog #1

I vlogged.

I actually think it was on my bucket list!

So, YAY!

Sorry for the sound and the video being out of sync.

I need to learn how to edit properly.

I will do another one tomorrow.

Hope you enjoy it.

Don't forget to...

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Also let me know what you want me to vlog about.

Also don't forget to check out these amazing new vloggers:

Emma aka cupcake185

Brendon aka sgtbrendo

Matt aka IWearOddSockz

I probably won't post my vlog here everytime I do one

That's why you need to subscribe :D

Things I Love Thursday

♥ Emmy's Vlog of awesome. Subscribe to her YouTube channel HERE.

♥ I ordered 3 geek related necklaces. A Deathly Hallows, a Piece of Eight, and The One Ring. They only cost me $15 for all three, including shipping :)

Deathly Hallows

Piece of Eight

The One Ring!!

 I'm going to be rocking all the FANDOMS!!! I got them from CocoNecklace on Etsy.

♥ Finding out that Lord Voldemort aka Ralph Fiennes is the 9th cousin of Prince Charles! DUDE! Voldemort is like 150th in line to be King of England!!!

 <---- I don't think this man can get any cooler! He's Voldemort, Hades, had kids with River Song (Doctor Who) and now is actually related (by blood) to the Royal Family! Plus.... SPOILERS (he's the new M in James Bond) Seriously...!

♥ I have bootcamped my iMac. For non-tech people that means that I can now run OSX (Normal Apple Operating System ) and Windows on my iMac. So now I can play Simcity (which is AWESOME) and I'm currently downloading Don't Starve on Steam. I'm excited!

I really love the graphics. Indie games today aren't just games, they're artworks. Don't Starve, The Cave, they're all so beautiful. So much love has gone into them!

♥ Getting Mail! This week I got a textbook (woo!) called Staying Healthy in Childcare (it was free from the governement, so I'm not complaining) my ASOS order (will blog about it soon) and awesome presents from Emmy! (I did a post about it HERE)

THAT'S IT FOR TODAY!

Happy Thursday everyone.

Also have a happy Easter.

Presents!!!!!!

I got mail today!

From Emma aka Cupquake Stormageddon (my dad was very confused)

There was 2 Parcels!

One of them my dad had opened because it was wet :0

But he managed to save the contents... more later!

BIRTHDAY PRESENT!!

Even if my birthday was in November... last year :P

I'm excited about eating the Pop-tarts. I've never had them before!

First the card....

Best. Card. Ever!

But I need to return it, because none of the buttons work.

Now the best bit.

The present!

Super glittery Typo Journal

to fill with awesome things that make me happy.

AWESOME POST ITS! :O

and an organic Lollipop!

The other parcel, that my dad saved had the awesomest present ever!

Severus Snape print by Stewart McKenny

personally signed!!!!!

THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH EMMA!!!

I LOVE IT ALL!!!

Baking Bucket List

Baking Bucket List

will be updated regularly :D

Cake Pops.

Angel Food Cake - even if it uses a WHOLE dozen of eggs! 12 freaking eggs! and not just the whole eggs, just the egg whites!! That's crazy! It will definitely be a celebration cake!

Souffle.

Profiteroles.

Eclairs.

Some sort of Pie with pastry made from scratch!

Reese's Peanut Butter Cup cupcakes.

Adriano Zumbo box Macarons! (available at Woolworths) I currently have a Salted Caramel box.
first try was an epic failure. I followed the instruction (it said beat for 4 minutes) 15 minutes later the egg still hadn't stiffened. So I kept going. But I don't think I went long enough so they didn't rise probably. :)

Diet Coke Cupcakes (requested by @plainprincess)

Baked Cheese Cake

my week according to Instagram

my week according to Instagram

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ONE

Got excited over the release of the FIRST R18+ game in Australia. For all those in other countries, Australia has never had 18+ games... which means that the games were edited down to get a 15+ rating, or banned! Now finally after years of waiting and signing petitions... AUSTRALIA has 18+ rating for video games!

TWO

Derpy face me!

THREE

Getting all OCD over tablets not matching the right way in the Panadol packages!

FOUR

Mango Macaroons from McDonalds! I hate Mango, but they were the only ones left. But dispite the mango flavour... they were delicious!

FIVE

Simcity guide book. Since I can't play Simcity yet, I will get my fix by reading all the info and watching ALL the youtube videos!

SIX

Chocolate Macaroons from McDonalds. This was super YUMMY! I actually walk into McDonalds to order my food now, just so I can see if they have Macaroons!

SEVEN

Woolworths sell Mini Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. So tempted to cook Chocolate Cupcakes and stick a Peanut Butter Cup inside them! YUMMMY!

EIGHT

Midnight DIY Geometric Stag. I was bored at midnight, so I drew on my bag. This is the result! Looks pretty snazzy!

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Hope everyone is having a great day/week.

Leave a comment about what you did in the last week.

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