Day 13 - Don't Panic

"your favorite quote"

“Don’t Panic” from The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy. When I read it, it doesn’t just mean “Don’t Panic” it means, “sit back and think about it. Are you over reacting? (usually I am). Can it be fixed? (pretty much always) GET REAL!!!” I’m an over thinker, and a stress head, I’m also a little bit of a perfectionist (which according to my councilor is a sign of low self-esteem) telling myself “Don’t Panic” is sort of a kick up the arse. Someone screaming at me, telling me to chill out, stop over thinking and telling me that everything will be okay :) it’s good!

Day 12 - Good Advice

"the best advice you’ve ever heard, or ever been given"

“The majority isn’t necessarily right.”

I don’t know who told me this, or if it was something I’ve stumbled upon myself.

I try not to judge or make opinions based on what others have said. Whether its a family member, a friend, a stranger, a celebrity etc. I make my own opinions. And what the majority thinks, isn’t necessarily the right thing to think.

Day 11 - Bad Advice

"the worst advice you’ve ever heard, or ever been given"

“Be Yourself”

Like I mentioned in my last post. All my life I have struggled with the concept of “Self”

I hate being told to “be yourself” because just because I’m “myself” is not going to make my life easier, or any particular situation easier. I’m going to get judged by others, no matter who I am, I know this because it’s human nature... and I judge people as well.

So I guess the best thing to do, instead of “being yourself” is “adapting to the situation” :) It’s probably not a very good way to live, but it’s what I do. When I’m with my close friends and family, I am myself (for real) when I’m at work, I’m social, polite and cheerful, but I don’t talk much to my work colleagues about my interests (the fact that one of my managers rolls his eyes when ever I talk about Harry Potter, or movies etc) and prefer not to talk too much to customers... I also suck at small talk (but that’s another story)

My mask changes depends on the situation I’m in.

Day 10 - "Be Yourself"

"what you think when you hear the words “be yourself”"

I do try to be myself. I really do, but people just don't get me. They roll their eyes and I know they're judging me :) In the past I would of cared, but I'm getting better at not caring what others think.

Myself.
Loud, Sarcastic, Passive Agressive, Friendly, Crazy, Emotional, Geeky, Scientific, Perfectionist, Lazy, Childish, Mature, Fun.

What I am online, is the real me. Me in real life is a censored, toned down version of real me. It's called "Small Town Syndrome", which sucks because I actually live in a city.

I wish I was able to be more myself. This is my current struggle I'm having with myself at the moment. I'm hoping that this 365 Project will help.

In other news. Supanova is really soon! Next Month, and I got the time off work (despite the scary chance that I wasn't going to!) I really can't wait. The people going at the moment aren't that exciting, well it's still exciting, but not exciting enough to pay for autograph and photos. Supanova tweeted me today and told me tickets were on sale at the end of May, and they will be announcing some more guests. I can't wait!

Day 9 - Happiness!

"Things that make you happy"

Sometimes I have trouble finding happiness. It seems to hide from me sometimes, but I'm getting good at finding it. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

❤ The Yogscast. Just a group of friends (including Simon & Lewis) that started making "How To Play" Minecraft videos on Youtube, that turned into the most epic, hilarious, awesome adventure series ever. Shadow Of Israphel is a Adventure Series made completely in Minecraft. Don't roll your eyes, it's AWESOME! They make videos from other games, but I'm really only interested in the Minecraft ones.

❤ Kitten Videos/Maru/My Cat - Cats. They're awesome. If you haven't discovered the joys of Maru! Check him out on Youtube.

❤ Music. TURNING MY MUSIC UP REALLY LOUD AND SINGING REALLY BADLY TO IT!

❤ Chatting with Emma.

❤ This video (below) is the most amazing, awe inspiring, overwhelming video I've ever seen. Everytime I watch it I cry and think about just how fucking beautiful this world is, and how amazing the universe is, and how we pretty much don't know nothing about it.

It helps that the music is Freedom Fighters by Two Steps From Hell!

Day 8 - Sad Things

"Things that make you sad"

Cruelty to animals.
True war movies. Especially when they're set during World War 2 (thank you Steven Spielberg)
My weak emotional brain :)
Living so far away from anyone worth talking to :)

Being Me... sometimes! I'm okay today. I made Cookies & Cream cheesecake. Don't know if it has worked yet. Fingers crossed.

There are a lot of things in the world that make me sad, but I tend not to dwell on them, it just makes it worse, I think about the happy things... so look out for tomorrows' 365 Project!

Day 7 - Labyrinth

"a show or a movie that has changed you, and how"

This is a hard one. I love movies and TV... they're the main reason I'm a geek :) It's hard to pinpoint one that has changed me.

I don't remember the first time I watched Labyrinth, but I remember always asking for mum to put it on. The day the video cassette stopped working... that was a sad day! Luckily mum had managed to find another one. I think we went through 4 video cassettes... and so far I've destroyed one DVD version of it. (but's its okay, because I have 3 different DVD versions and 1 copy of blu-ray)

I don't know what it was that made me love it so much. The mixture of live-action and puppets, the fantasy element. I can't say that it was David Bowie, because I would of only been 6 or so when I watched it, and I'm pretty sure I didn't have "feelings" for him then. At 6, I didn't understand the whole story. It was more how pretty it was, the characters, the music. It wasn't until later when I picked out the clues, like Sarah having all the "toys" of the characters she met, and the picture of her actress mother with her onstage love (who looked ALOT like David Bowie) so was it a dream! It didn't matter.

It wasn't until recently that I realised how many amazing filmmakers and artist were involved in making this movie. George Lucas, Brian Froud, Terry Jones (from Monty Python) and recently discovering that Kevin Clash (who is the puppeteer and voice of Elmo) was one of the main puppeteers! (his name is even on the poster!) All these people I discovered separately to Labyrinth, and they all connected together, without me knowing. I love it when that happens.

I can't wait to make my children watch Labyrinth. I don't know what it is that does it. But it's my favourite film and the film that I believe changed me. It made me more aware of the film-making industry and made the world that little bit more magical.

Day 6 - Changing Myself.

"Something you would like to change about yourself"

This one is easy. My weight. It's the only think I ever want to change. I'm okay having my crappy teeth, I'm okay being an over emotional wreck. I just wish I wasn't so fat.
And I don't want to be skinny! I'm a size 26 at the moment and would die to be a size 18. I would be quite happy weighing 100kg!
I honestly think that losing weight would solve most of my problems.
I know it will be hard, and I am trying!

I'm happy with every other aspect of my life. Even the emotional outbursts and bouts of depression and anxiety. That I can deal with. I just want to be less fat :)

Day 5 - Look Up!

"Something you would change about the world"

I would bring planets and stars closer.
So when you looked up into the sky, you would see nebulas and the rings on Saturn, without needing to use a telescope.
I've seen the rings on Saturn and the red band around Jupiter through a telescope, and even though the image is small, it's still amazing. The fact that you can see something that far away, relatively easily from you're own backyard. It's amazing!

People don't look up enough. Even during the day, there are clouds and the moon. At night on a clear night you can see things that are hundreds of light years away. Stars that are on the other side of the universe, stars that are so big that they would engulf Earth, and Mars, and Jupiter and Pluto, if placed in the same place as our Sun. Huge red stars, and tiny white stars. Stars that gravitational pull is so great that they steal matter from stars near it. Stars that have planets orbiting about them. Stars that are older than Earth, older than our solar system.

I would like to look up and see more.
I know there are probably "better" things to change.
But this would be something I would like.

Day 4 - Dreams That Change My Life...

"How you think your life would change if you achieved your dreams"

I don't have any defined "dreams" I have lifetime goals. Like having kids (which I'm not ready for), falling in love (also not ready for). I used to want to travel the world, but after my first experience in a commercial airplane... that's probably not going to happen.  I haven't decided what I want to do when I "grow up", so I don't have any dream of doing that, and my other "dreams" mostly involve celebrities or fictional characters.... so that's NEVER going to happen.

I don't think achieving my dreams would make my life any better/easier, there is always going to be issues, whether they're here now, or in the future. That sounds rather negative of me, and maybe it is. But even the richest people have issues.

Since the questions have been a little shitty :) I'm going to post some gifs. Everyone loves gifs....

Day 3 - Reasons

What you think your reason for being here is.

I'm here to fill the world with joy. LOL probably not.
I think I'm here to grow. Every living thing in this world is here doing the same thing... growing, whether physically, mentally, emotionally etc.

I don't believe I have a set purpose, or that god (or whoever) know the ending of my story. I guess I'm here to make it the best story I can. Even if I think I'm not doing a very good job.

Honestly, I don't think I have a reason for being here. It's just choices I've made, and paths I've choosen. No Reason... just am!

I promise that the questions are going to get better! :P

Day 2 - Illegal things that should be Legal

Something that's illegal but you think it should be legal.

This one is hard. Things that are illegal are illegal for a reason. I've always been a "good girl" if it's illegal I won't do it, I've been "pressured" into smoking dope, but walked away, and I'm proud of myself for doing so. I don't see the point of questioning laws and authority, they are there for a reason. But in saying that, I would like to be able to make my own choices.

I believe that same-sex marriage should be allowed. I've been hearing a lot about it on the news and online. It seems stupid that even though 2 people can love each other so much, that they can't be married and legally recognised as a couple. What is wrong with it? The church says its against the teaching of god or whatever, but this has nothing to do with the church. It's about being recognised as a married couple. I don't think you will find very many Roman Catholic same-sex couples (I'm sure there is some). The church and the government shouldn't be the same thing!

Another thing. The ability to choose whether or not I can get an abortion, or euthanasia. I don't personally believe in them, but I want others to be able to choose whether they can.

Day 1 - Hopes & Dreams & Plans & Me

Hopes, Dreams and Plans for the next 365 days with a picture of yourself.

First off... the dreaded picture of myself. Looking pretty much how I feel at the moment. BLAH :) One day I will smile :)

messy room and red faced :D

HOPES
well I want to actually finish it :)
also I think it will be a good way to open up. I'm having issues with the inside me not matching the outside me. I want to express myself in the real world, not just online. And I think and HOPE that this project will help.
More followers and comments wouldn't be a bad thing either.

DREAMS
The dreams I've been having are probably not appropriate for my blog.... *wink wink*
More confidence. More friends. More self-esteem. More Fun... just MORE :P

PLANS
No plans yet. Just going to jump right in the deep end and swim from my life. I don't like water that much. I have a fear of being in the ocean, or there being big waves... so using jumping in the deep end as an analogy is making me a little nervous. I need a tribble to calm me down.

Tribble makes me content :)

365 Project

While I was "cleaning" my room I found a list I had printed off. It was a list of 365 prompts, for a 365 day project. I had highlighted some of the prompts I wanted to answer, but I have decided that (even though I'll never ever finish) that I'm going to do it! I'm going to do a 365 day project. I know I probably won't succeed, but it's worth a try.

RULES
One prompt a day.
If I miss a day I will just do that prompt the next day.
I will be Honest. Some of the questions are a little private. But I'm going to answer them ALL!
It doesn't matter if it takes me longer than 365 days.
When it asks for a photo of me. I will post a CURRENT PHOTO!
I WILL COMPLETE IT! Eventually!

I will tag the posts with 365 Project. So you can follow my progress. I will also try to continue doing other posts as well.

Wish me luck.